I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
