you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
