She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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