Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
