Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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