I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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