You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
