We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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