She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
