I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
