My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize