Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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