Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
