Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
