I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
