Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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