i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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