I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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