it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
