I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize