Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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