i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i think we sleep fucked last night...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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