i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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