He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
