sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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