so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
