I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have post one night stand depression
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