Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
