Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
