i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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