Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
