i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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