It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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