Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
