you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
