I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
