Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
