i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
