At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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