I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
my liver is dry heaving
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
