just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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