Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
