shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
