I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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