I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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