I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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