respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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