Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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