I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
