Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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