In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I didn't shave. On purpose
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
