Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
