In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
