you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
