i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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