He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize