every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
