I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
