I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
