Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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