Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
